Step 2 - Share 'The Truth' with Someone you Trust

Step 2 won't be relevant for everyone; it's meant for those keeping their debt(s) a secret.  If this isn't you - head to Step 3.  

Is your debt a secret?  Do you interact with those close to you on a regular basis and have guilt because you feel like a fraud? 

I did.

The feelings of shame and worthlessness only stifle your ability to move ahead and make significant changes.

Know this. In leveling with someone you trust, you will inevitably create greater intimacy in your relationship with this person.  You'll likely additionally learn they (or someone they know) has been where you are; if not, financially, with some other aspect of their life.

Step 2 includes telling someone you trust; this doesn't mean telling everyone, and it also doesn't mean telling just anyone.


First, you'll need to identify who to tell, and then what you'll tell them.



Here's what you need to see in the person you choose to share with:

1.  Someone supportive, yet not an enabler.  Will the person you tell attempt to rescue you - rather than lending an ear when you need to vent?  If you suspect they'd try and rescue you, it might not be the best person to tell. Rescue includes offering to pay your debts or anything related.  Tackling this problem is something you need to accomplish on your own.

2.  A safe person. Someone who is trustworthy - keeping what you tell them to themselves. Someone who withholds their judgment of you because they've made some less-than-perfect choices for their life at some point too.  Someone who will understand the days you're low and will give you space to forge ahead.

3.  Someone encouraging - who doesn't ask you how you will surmount what might seem insurmountable but reaffirms your ability to get it done.

4.  Most importantly, someone who will be dead honest with you. The truth hurts right!?  Sometimes those closest to us tell us what they think we want to hear rather than what we need to hear.


Can you think of someone in your life who fits this criteria?  Consider having a sit-down conversation and sharing with them.


What to tell?

What you disclose is at your discretion - but ultimately I think it's important to share how you feel about where you're at.  Revealing how bad it is, how crappy you feel, and how much you've been hiding will lift a weight off your shoulders. 


If you’ve been pretending for far too long, this should be cathartic.


Everything shifted for me when I finally unloaded the truth.  I hope the same for you.


Once you've done this, you're ready to move to Step 3.


What did sharing your truth feel like?  Did you feel relieved once it was off your shoulders?